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Imagine the song “I’m so Excited” by the Pointer Sisters. Got the melody in your head? Now fill in the blank:
I’m so excited!
I’m so excited!
I’m so . . . _______!
If you tuned in to Saturday morning television in the early 90s, you know the missing word is “scared.” The above is a direct quote from Elizabeth Berkley’s character Jessie Spano, rehearsing for an audition, in an episode of “Saved By the Bell” in which Jessie becomes addicted to caffeine pills.
This was one of the show’s few forays into why drugs are bad. I mean, thanks, but people were abusing way worse substances than caffeine in my High School.
But this was classic SBTB. The show purported to give a taste of High School life and attempted to demonstrate how teens tackle the challenges of learning, socializing, and maturing. But it was far from a High School survival guide. It was too innocent and fluffy for that. There were some darker episodes, but even those over-simplified the emotions and reactions of actual teens.
So let’s not overthink it. Instead, let’s love it for the fun that it was.
We’ll start with a quick refresher on the cast. After all, things got confusing. There was the precursor, Good Morning, Miss Bliss.[1] There was Saved By the Bell: The College Years (*shudder*). And there was the infamous repeat senior year – the “Season-that-Should-Never-Have-Been-a-Season.” This post focuses on the only show that really matters, the classic “Saved By the Bell.”
The show followed the lives of a gang of High School teens in the early 90s: Zack, Jessie, Kelly, Slater, Lisa, and Screech. Tween crush Mark-Paul Gosselaar played Zack Morris, a troublemaker who regularly broke the fourth wall to share his thoughts with the audience. Jessie Spano was Zack’s friend from childhood. She was a staunch feminist, and hands-down the over-achiever of the group. Kelly Kapowski was Zack’s love interest – and the love interest of every other guy in school, including Zack’s frenemy, A.C. Slater, played by a pumped Mario Lopez. Eventually, the writers picked up on the chemistry brewing between Jessie and Slater, which freed Kelly for Zack. (Heaven forbid Kelly did her own thing during High School.) Rounding out the ladies was Lisa Turtle, a shopping-obsessed gossip who also served as the main crush of the sixth regular character, nerd Screech Powers.[2] The hairstyles trended towards outdated (check out Slater’s perm-mullet and Kelly’s pompadour bangs); the fashion was, to put it generously, garish (particularly the guys’ patterned button-downs and fluorescent tanks); and the music was adequately cheesy (a mixture of 80s guitar and surfer rock riffs opened most episodes).
Aside from the six teens, the other main character was Principal Richard Belding. He took his job very seriously, but while he was formal, he had a sense of humor. He probably would not have been a successful principal at every High School, but he could have played the part anywhere. In other words, no one would be surprised if they showed up to High School and the principal was Mr. Belding. I personally would have welcomed him aboard! He had a cool backstory as a former radio DJ. He had some great (albeit corny) lines, like when, in response to one of the teens telling him, “It’s personal, Mr. Belding,” he replied, “I’m a person.” And although he was regularly and visibly frustrated by the students’ antics – particularly Zack’s – his commitment to making sure they did the right thing was one of the backbones of the show.
Now that our memories are refreshed, we’ll dive into some episodes that stand out in my memory.
“The Zack Tapes”: In this episode, the gang prepares for the Sweetheart dance. The boys donned paper hearts around their necks and prepared to ask their girl of choice to the dance. If the girl accepted, she’d wear his heart. After learning about subliminal advertising in class, Zack devises a scheme to brainwash Kelly, along with all of the other girls in school. He enlists Screech for assistance, and before we know it, all the geeks, nerds, and dorks are scoring dates with girls who’d never given them the time of day. The plan backfires when the girls figure it out, and the entire school (including the faculty) gives Zack a taste of his own medicine for playing with their minds.
A few thoughts: This is not how High School dances went in my neck of the woods. Other than the prom, no one asked anyone to anything. I also marveled at how, as soon as a Bayside girl accepted an invite from a boy, they’d join hands and walk off. What? You haven’t even gone on a date. Suddenly you’re “together”? The caricatures of the “nerds” were over the top, but it might have been the episode’s only depiction of something that actually happens in High School: the social division that arrives by the end of Freshman year.
“Blind Dates”: This episode resonated with me because it examined the stigma of a tall girl dating a shorter guy. But the relatability ends there. The premise: Kelly was hosting a birthday party for herself at The Max, the kids’ hang-out, and Jessie was looking for a date. Now, I get that it’s common for people to go to dances in pairs, despite what I mentioned above about my own school, but it’s curious to me that anyone needed a date to go to a birthday party. A similar anomaly in this episode occurs when Mr. Belding insisted that one of the boys take his niece out for a date on Friday night, as if being alone on a Friday as a teen was unacceptable (rather than a form of peaceful quiet . . . ahem). And I can’t skip over the boys’ date attire, which consisted of full-on suits. Pretty sure the boys in my school regularly transitioned the flannel pajama bottoms that they wore to class into evening wear.
Back to the plot. To help her find a date, Lisa fixes Jessie up with her neighbor, Brett. They meet over lunch and hit it off. Jessie asks Brett to the party, but when they stand up to leave, she realizes he is much shorter than her, so she wants to call it off. Lisa and Kelly tell Jessie that she is being shallow – and it seems to work, because she keeps the date. But at the party, Jessie is reluctant to dance with Brett. He eventually convinces her and stands on a step so he can be taller, but that makes Jessie feel worse. He returns to her level (which is actually below her level), and Jessie suddenly realizes that height shouldn’t matter and rests her head on his shoulder. The end.
What changed Jessie’s mind in the last three minutes of the show? We don’t know. But, more importantly – and I may get myself in trouble here – why are we beating up on Jessie for not wanting to feel awkward? This might have been one of the more on-point SBTB episodes because it touched on every teen’s wish to not draw unwanted attention to themselves, and when you’re bursting into the stratosphere while the guys around you slowly inch their way to full height, you feel awkward. I totally get why Jessie was uncomfortable, I don’t think we should reprimand her for acting and feeling like a teenager (which she was), and I really don’t think we should sugar coat High School realities. If you’re someone who can get over yourself at sixteen, I’m impressed. But I’m betting most kids in Jessie’s position would have faced a similar struggle, even if they preach otherwise. To all the Jessies out there, you’re not horrible. You’re relatable. Let’s hear it for Tall Girls with Feelings!
“Graduation”: The first one, that is. One of the most annoying things that happened on SBTB was that they had a Second Senior Year (“SSY”). The series concluded (or so we thought) with the entire crew graduating . . . barely. The episode opens at The Max, where kids sit around signing yearbooks. (I hope kids still do that in real life today.) The gang discusses their upcoming graduation, but Zack soon learns he is one credit short of graduating. (Implausible in today’s times, when students take practice SATs in Middle School and plan college tours on Day 2 of Freshman year.) Luckily, he joins the dance class’s production of “Swan Pond” to make it up. The cumbersome dance moves are laugh-out-loud funny, and Mario Lopez’s ballet solo is totally impressive.[3] The performance secures Zack’s missing credit, and the gang wistfully prepares to depart Bayside. At the end of the episode, Mr. Belding calls each candidate for their diploma. Of course, the six main characters are last and of course Zack is the last among them so that the show can come to an appropriately emotional conclusion.
Except it was a false ending. As if we wouldn’t notice, the powers that be added another year of life at Bayside. This is especially irritating since they made such a big deal about Zack missing his final credit in the real group’s graduation. Apparently, he needn’t have worried because no one was graduating. It gets worse: “Tori,” a “tough girl” biker over whom Zack and Slater fought (shocker), replaced Kelly and Jessie.
Um, hello? You forgot to replace your audience too. It’s still us – the kids who just finished watching our fave crew graduate. Did the writers really think we wouldn’t notice two senior years? Yeah, I watched the season anyway, but I was fuming the whole time, and I didn’t like Tori on principle because she was a mediocre stand-in for Kelly and Jessie.
Okay. Now that I’ve vented that pent-up annoyance, I’m going back to pretending the SSY didn’t happen because it messes with my fondness for the show.
* * *
We got through just three episodes, but most of SBTB consisted of similar G-rated incidents that were only quasi-reflective of real life as a teenager. They rarely scratched the surface of teenage stresses. I wouldn’t advise any teen, now or back then, to ask, “What would Zack do?”
But I also wouldn’t dismiss the show. It may not have been the best primer for actual High School, but man, it was fun. While rewatching the episodes, I was still amused by the group’s shenanigans. There were elements of slapstick and plenty of amusing dialogue. Kids need that lightness during their teen years! I’m not sure the show’s plots translate well to today’s youth – someone from Gen Z will have to weigh in on that. But for us 90s kids, it was what we needed then, and it sure is worth reliving now.[4]
[1] Good Morning, Miss Bliss featured Hayley Mills (none other than Pollyanna herself) as a teacher overseeing a rowdy class that included Zack Morris, Screech Powers, and Lisa Turtle, and a bunch of other kids that never made it to High School.
[2] While Screech spent much of the series suffering from unrequited love, he got some action when Tori Spelling swooped in for the performance of a lifetime as Violet, another nerd who shyly fawned over Screech “Samuel” Powers. It was hard not to be happy for him.
[3] I didn’t realize he had it in him, but it turns out the host of “America’s Best Dance Crew” is a dancer himself.
[4] If this post has whet your appetite, Saved By the Bell is available for streaming on Hulu: Watch Saved by the Bell Streaming Online | Hulu (Free Trial). There’s also a reboot on Peacock, but I’m prepared to skip it. For more background on SBTB, check out this MTV list: 45 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About ‘Saved By The Bell’ – MTV.