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Annoyingly, when I got to high school, people started asking me “What’s wrong?” practically every day. Apparently, I wore an expression on my face that indicated worry, trouble, sorrow, or some combination of the three. I could have interpreted my classmates’ interest in my well-being as them being caring and not as self-absorbed and mean as I made them out to be in my head. But that didn’t fit my narrative. Instead, this question really irked me. If there had been a sour expression on my face, I’m sure it only got sourer.
How did I answer? Occasionally, I’d say, “Why do you ask?” to which I’d often get back, “You look so sad.” That made me feel worse, so more often I cut off the conversation and replied, “Nothing, I’m fine.” Inside, however, I was thinking something different:
“Guess my default facial expression isn’t a smile like you all seem to think it should be.”
“Are you happy being cooped up in here seven hours a day with me?”
“You’re right, it is a good day.”
Remind you of anyone?
Alright, my internal comebacks were admittedly not as quippy, but Daria would make them sound good.
When “Daria” premiered in the spring of 1997, I already housed her spirit sister in my head, so you can imagine how into this show I was. I watched it as often as I could, even on repeat. It made me feel less alone, elicited actual, out-loud laughter from me, and validated my feelings. That’s a heavy lift for an MTV show!
The cartoon centered around Daria Morgendorffer, originally a character from Beavis & Butt-Head. Daria’s default expression was not my perpetual “sad face,” but a blank stare. Somehow, despite being two-dimensional, she conveyed everything she was thinking with that look. And she had plenty of opportunities to use it.
Daria was a student at Lawndale High, which she attended with her younger, popular sister, Quinn. Every day at school was a different dilemma for Daria. Most of the boys tried to get to Quinn through Daria, so she was constantly harassed for her sister’s phone number or location. Quinn, meanwhile, pretended not to know Daria at all. Quinn’s fashion-obsessed clique similarly ignored Daria, keeping a tight leash on Quinn and simultaneously stabbing her in the back pretty regularly. There were other choice characters, like Kevin, the thick-headed football star, Britney, his like-minded girlfriend, and Upchuck, the repulsive nerd that constantly hit on all of the girls.
But Daria had some folks she could count on. There was Jane Lane, her best – and only – friend. And Jodie, the voice of reason and seemingly one of the only kind kids in school.[1] Daria also had a love interest, Trent Lane, Jane’s mysterious older brother. Trent played in a band, had a raspy voice, and was friendly to Daria. She was into it, and I got it – I liked Trent too.[2]
The faculty members were also entertaining – their characters were even more exaggerated than those of the students. There was Mr. O’Neill, an English teacher who perpetually tried to get his students to connect with their feelings; Mr. DeMartino, an insane history teacher with a bulging eye that would practically burst out of his skull when he got animated; and Ms. Barch, who taught science and took out her anger towards her ex on her male students.
I related to many of Daria’s encounters with her peers and teachers. While I didn’t have a younger, popular sister in school with me, the cliques that revolved around Quinn existed in my school too. These girls wouldn’t talk to me outside of a classroom, but occasionally we were forced to sit next to each other by teachers who felt that, even in High School, assigned seating is a good thing. Bored and with no one nearby to pay attention to them, they would lean over and say things to me like “Ew, what’re you listening to on your Walkman?” or “What are you wearing?” It wasn’t always insulting. Sometimes they’d ask me to repeat what the teacher just said or copy my notes.
The faculty at my High School was also comprised of its own cast of characters that rivaled those of Lawndale High. One teacher let a student learn to brew beer and then teach the rest of us how to do it. Another made us sing the same song at the end of every single class. And another instructor sought meaning in absolutely everything, one day emphatically holding up his copy of “Catcher in the Rye” and proclaiming that the color of the book’s binding was symbolic of Holden Caufield’s plight.[3] I spent plenty of classes looking for the point to what we were doing so that I could learn something, advance to the next level, and graduate out of there.
Every teen needs something or someone they can relate to, and Daria was it for me. In fact, I think I’d be willing to go back in time to my High School days just to be in the moment where Daria’s monologues aligned so perfectly with how I was feeling inside.
Now, I’ve painted an unfair and unflattering picture of my High School. Looking back on it now, I’m pretty confident that my perspective was heavily colored by adolescence. I did myself, my peers, and my teachers a disservice by not going in there with a more positive attitude. But that didn’t feel realistic to me at the time. It was easier to be cynical and annoyed. At least that gave me a sense of identity. What else did it give me? Well, there we have it – why people were always asking me “Why the face?” It was me all along.
I’ll let my girl do the honors:
[1] Jodie is apparently getting a spin-off show: The Daria Spinoff Has Found Its Leading Lady – MTV
[2] Crushing on an animation is not a good idea. One day I investigated the voice actor for Trent, imagining he would be a human version of the cartoon. Turns out the guy who played Trent was very much not Trent. Don’t look up a voice actor unless you already know what they look like. It really messes with you.
[3] I hated that book.